It’s Been A While !

It’s Been A While !

WOAHHHHHHHH I HOPE YOU’RE ALL OK GUYS !  I finished all my exams, don’t know how I’ve done, hopefully I’ve passed them. If not, I’m fucked. 

Summer was going ok but I’ve started to feel more sad and grumpy than usual and I’m trying to, in the words of thy holiness Florence Welch, shake it out. It’s not shifting though so I’m just going to have to stay in bed and let it pass because I’ve tried everything else. 

ALSO, CAN I JUST TALK ABOUT MY DARLING JEREMY CORBYN FOR A MIN. So, I got a shirt with him on it and it was honestly the best decision of my life. I want to wear it everywhere but I’m a bit nervous that I’ll get heckled my Jez haters but there’s literally zero reason to hate Jez because he’s great. (Also, this isn’t invitation for debate, I was just letting you all know I have a deep obsession with Jeremy and he’s my favourite politician of all time.) Anyway, I’m waiting patiently for a reply off Jeremy as I wrote him a letter and I AM SO PROUD OF HIM FOR STANDING HIS GROUND. GWANNN JEZ. 

Jez obsession aside, I’ve not really done anything monumentally interesting but I’ll let you know when I do. Also, I get my a level results in 21 days :/ So I’ll let you know how that goes.

Stay safe, 

Amelia x 

Breaking News; I’m Feeling Positive 

Breaking News; I’m Feeling Positive 

Guys, guys, guys !! I’ve just done my first AS exam, it was English Language and I honestly think it actually went well (??!!). I managed to write 11 pages of A4 paper in two hours, and I get the whole ‘it’s quality, not quantity’ but at A level, it’s seen as rather impressive and I’m so happy I actually managed to write something that seemed intelligent and clear. 

I have three nights until maths and biology, which naturally, I’m quite worried about but I’m feeling generally ok because recently, I have actually felt more positive about things (!!!) it’s weird. I’m having to go into college early tomorrow, and just realised I’ll be racking up a whole 4 and a half hours of chemistry tomorrow which I’m not feeling so great about. Then in half term I have to go to a 9:30-3:30 revision session which is going to be SO HARD. Anyway, I just really want to do well in these exams and feel I’ve done ok so I can eventually enjoy my summer. 

I’m going to do a politics mind map and study maths and biology and chemistry tonight (hopefully). 

Only a v short blog as am currently drooling over my new clothes from ASOS and am planning on buying more. 

Hope you’re all well. 

Stay safe. 

Amelia X 

Why I Find The Education System Frustrating 

Why I Find The Education System Frustrating 

I reckon all us students who are currently dragging ourselves through exam season have been here at least once in our academic lives. Now, just to set things straight, I am actually very grateful for the fact I’m able to have an education but that doesn’t mean the system is flawless and there aren’t any grievances towards education. 

If you’re from the UK, most likely, you’re aware of AQA, OCR, Edexcel, WJEC etc… All of which are exam boards and formulate our exams papers, mainly at GCSE and A level. The education that I receive at my particular college is of a very good standard and the college is well known for getting very high pass rates. However, I have a serious issue with the fact I can work for hours a day, know ll my knowledge but just because MY STANDARDS DON’T LIVE UP TO THE MARK SCHEME, I am highly penalised for it. For example, I had a biology mock the other day, and wrote a big 5 mark answer regarding oxyheamoglobin dissociation curves (this bit isn’t important, but the next bit is) and I kid you not, I put ALL the key terms in, perfectly explained why the curve had shifted etc etc, and just because I didn’t put the word more into my answer, I got no marks. NO MARKS. I did the complete right thing but because apparently, I’d implied that the original curve didn’t unload oxygen by not saying the other curve unloaded more oxygen, she gave me a massive zero. So, I read, re read, re re read through my answer and honestly, as someone who actually does try hard because I, to some degree, enjoy my subjects (besides chemistry, I’ll get to that in a minute, ew) and want to perform well. So I went into that mock, feeling fairly confident, answered the questions and JUST BECAUSE THE MARK SCHEME FOR AQA AS BIOLOGY WASNT PERFECTLY DEMONSTRATED IN MY ANSWERS, I GET NO MARKS, MAYBE ONE, FOR A LONGR QUESTION. Which honestly starts making me upset because verbally, ask me a question, and I’ll answer it. 

Also, they enjoy placing application of knowledge questions in, which I do agree with as it reverts away from regurgitation, but then again, there’s nothing wrong with regurgitation. Although, AQA have placed our AS year as a ‘Guinea pig’ group as they’ve released a brand new specification so we have no idea what the exam might look like. 

Politics and English I’m alright with and don’t have any issue, there’s just a lot of knowledge I need to retain with politics and my English responses could be a little sharper and I could try and be a bit more insightful but as subjects, I don’t have any particular issue. 

Chemistry though. Sends me into a deep spiral of darkness, confusion and mayhem. There’s some parts to chemistry I do actually enjoy writing about but MY GOD, the multiple choice section is SO hard as they’re all possible answers and the longer (depth) questions are worded weirdly and you have to be SO specific in your answers and you cannot make a mistake or your marks are badly affected. I would have had the opportunity to revise more if my teacher didn’t set 8-10 lots of homework, 3 online tests and revision for 2 topic tests within a week of each other. I mean,I Understand being pushed is beneficial and raises our potential, but I’m being pushed to the point where I’m holding on to a cliff edge by one finger. Our teacher even emailed us the other day when the weather was nice and it was sunny (in the UK, this is rare and must be savoured) and told us to close our curtains, remain inside, and not get distracted by the sun and focus on chemistry as we’ll feel ‘much better.’ My love, I shall not be feeling on top form with vitamin D definciency, so do us a favour, remember that I have 3 other A levels to prepare for and realise chemistry is not the be all and end all of my education. 

Also, Dodgy Dave (David Cameron, Prime Minister) has now decided it may be a good idea to raise university fees, which, are already £9000 ! Now really, when we look, does every university really deliver a £9K a year standard ? Is Cameron’s memory not so great ? Because the last time I checked, he and his Tories almost trebled university fees back in 2012. At least we have Jeremy Corbyn (I’m a fan) fighting against this and hopefully, Cameron will finally realise we’re not all middle class, Eaton, Oxbridge educated, have millions of pounds stashed in offshore accounts kind of people and we just want to be educated and not have to struggle with an excess of £40000 debt in the future. 

I hope you’re all well and if you’re doing exams, I hope you’re feeling ok about them and thinking about the summer ! 

Stay safe. 

Amelia x 

I May Be Procrastinating, But I Could Be Doing Worse Things To Pass The Time 

I May Be Procrastinating, But I Could Be Doing Worse Things To Pass The Time 

I have to complete a chemistry mock paper at home which I’ll have to do soon but, I wanted to write a blog to get my creativity and energy flowing. So, I’m really annoyed because I’ve come down with a virus 7 days before my first AS level exam and I am honestly just in the worst mood ever and I’m incredibly grumpy, tired and upset. My English teacher, let’s call her Slave-driver  1, made us do a mock exam this morning, and honestly, it could have been worse but it was not the ideal start to a Monday morning. 

I’m feeling very nervous about my exams, and frustrated, because I can learn the knowledge and understand it, I just have a hard time applying it all properly which pulls me down massively in mocks. All I can do is try hard and not panic (easier said than done) and just hope to God I have nice examiners and a fully functioning brain. 

My grandma is having the biggest stress today, as she saw a beetle ‘the size of a rat’ scuttle across her couch. Personally, I think she’s hallucinating, but now she is refusing to sit on one of the leather couches but yet, she’s complaining about how uncomfortable the other selection of seats are. I mean, get a grip, it’s a beetle, it’s not going to eat you, we come from England. The real creatures you need to be looking out for are Katie Hopkins and Jeremy Hunt. (If you don’t know who they are, they’re currently up for the Biggest Imbecile in Britain Award, only awarded to those who effortlessly shame the public and absolutely thrive off austerity.) 

I also desperately need new summer clothes but a British Summer is the most unpredictable time. It was 27 degrees centigrade this time last week and now, it’s only 12 so I really have no idea what I should be wearing. I’d go out in a chill morning in a jumper and feel perfectly content but by lunch I’m surprised I haven’t baked or evaporated. 

Anyway, I needed a rant and to clear my head before I do some work. 

I hope you’re all having more fun than I am. 

Stay safe. 

Amelia x 

I Want To Go On An Adventure 

I Want To Go On An Adventure 

I am soooooo sick of the village at the minute, all I want to be doing is going out and going to places I’m unfamiliar with. For me, the feeling of being able to explore and venture makes me feel happy because who knows what could happen. 

I like the whole travelling process, I like the feeling of getting on a train and not feeling fully decided on where you might get off. I might end up on a train to Manchester but considering my current financial status, I could easily get off and trek to London, or head anywhere I want to really. 

You don’t always have to travel to another country to have really good experiences. Although I’ve been lucky enough to travel overseas before and love the time I spent in different countries, travelling around the UK is still so fun. There’s so many hidden places, pretty places and lively places. I so enjoy going to London because, even though I’m used to a village life, I feel at home when I’m surrounded by people, and on the tube, and wandering through Covent Garden, Kensington, Soho and Wimbledon Village which, by the way, is so beautiful. 

I live fairly close to Manchester, and it’s only a 35-40 minute train journey. Manchester was apparently voted the best city in the UK to live in, due to the lower living prices in a really thriving city. I love going to Manchester at the weekends with my friends, or even alone, because I like travelling alone, I feel really absorbed into whatever I’m doing. I spend most of my time walking around the centre and buying bubble tea and going to thrift shops. I like the summer feeling as its really positively atmospheric and I like to just sit in the sun and watch everyone go by and simply enjoy the surrounding. 

I like visiting my aunt in Yorkshire, she lives near Leeds in a chilled area. I like going there in summer because I enjoy going up into the countryside bit and visiting this cute pub type restaurant along with my uncle, we sometimes follow it with going to another pub, where last time they let me have wine and cider which was nice but they got me a tad tipsy and I nearly fell out the car but oh well, MEMORIES WERE MADE. 

I visited Blackpool last year too with my friend Ewan and we went to the theme park, which is kind of a must if you’re going to Blackpool. But seriously, I ADORE Blackpool because it’s just so tacky and I just love it. I like being near a seaside too. It’s always really windy though, and my hair ends up looking grim but the ragged, hippie look is desirable. 

This summer, I plan on getting as much experience in so many different areas as I can, I want to do work experience, I want to go on trips, I want to spend days away from home and I want to sleep outside. Because I need to do these things now before adult life comes looming over me and I’ve realised, enjoying yourself and being content and happy, as well as having the right people around you, is a crucial part of life. 

Stay safe. 

Amelia x 

I Can’t Sleep

I Can’t Sleep

The title is rather self explanatory in terms of what the blog is about and I literally just can’t sleep. Considering my alarm needs to be on for 5:30am the majority of the weekday mornings, you’d think I’d make the most of the weekend and not move until about 1/2pm. (This had happened before) when really, I can’t fall asleep until maybe 2am and today I’ve woken up at 7:45 which is so unlike me. 

Even on weekday mornings, I’m desperate for an extra 5 minutes (5 years) of sleep, so it’s REALLY INCONVENIENT that I’m not getting a decent amount of sleep. 

I can’t really pin anything specific to why I’m not sleeping so well, because up to a few weeks ago, I was sleeping ok but now I’m getting into bed and contemplating all life’s mysteries. Throughout the day I can be thinking of THE MOST useless rubbish, such as why all the fish don’t die when lightening strikes the sea, or why the boy sat behind me in politics is SOOOO stunningly attractive and has the most gorgeous tone of voice and I’ve only just realised 8 months into college ?? 

At night, I’ll start thinking of eternity, which honestly sends me into a spiral of anxiety so I have to stop thinking about that because it freaks me out but I want to understand it but I can’t so there’s honestly no point thinking about it but I just can’t not think about it. You get me ? 

Sometimes I think of fake arguments that could possibly arise with my enemies (how dramatic) which does prepare me for any argumentative situation. If arguing was an A level, I would be absolutely SMASHING it. 

I think the thing that I’m most commonly thinking about are exams, which start in 8 DAYS, HAHAHAHAHA WANNA DIE ! I’m just v worried about them because I’ve worked hard all year and just want to do well so hopefully, things may be ok and I won’t panic or stress but I can’t guarantee anything. 

So I reckon, for the next few weeks, I won’t be getting much sleep but in summer I’m def going to stay in bed with Netflix for at least 5-7 days. 

Stay safe. 

Amelia x 

I Need Summer ASAP

I Need Summer ASAP

I’m sat on the bus on the way to college, which, by the way, has downgraded from Stagecoach Gold which I am DEVASTATED about as my leather seats, air conditioning, wifi and plug sockets have been cruelly snatched away from me. I’m aware that makes me sound like a spoiled brat but it’s honestly the only positive part of the whole ‘waking up at 6 am and not knowing where you are only to later find yourself in a college full of germs and hormonal adolescents but at least you get a nice bus ride.’ 

Anyway, back to the reason behind this post. I’ve got my first AS level exam on May 23rd which is 18 (!!!!!) days away and that’s and English language exam which I feel I could do well in but I have biology, chemistry and politics to follow which are highly stressing me out because I can absorb the knowledge and learn what I need to learn but I’m just worried about the exam questions catching me out, which they do have a tendency to do sometimes, if not most of the time. Politics is generally alright as the questions aren’t too abstract but there’s just LOADS you need to know. 

To progress to A2, the college requires a minimum grade of a D, which I feel I can exceed in my subject but nevertheless, I worry as my university choices look at the grades I achieve this year so we’re all under a lot of pressure from our teachers to do well this year.

I’m definitely dropping chemistry as I can’t bring myself to actually enjoy most of it but I think it’ll be for the best. 

So really, I need a summer holiday ASAP and I finish college on June 24th but have to do 3 weeks of A2 work which I DO NOT HAVE THE ENERGY TO DO RIGHT NOW but I have no choice. 

I get a good 6 weeks off college which is the most appealing thing EVER as I can go gallivanting around the country and do different things and see my friends, and it’ll just be really nice. 

Generally, I’ve just been stressed and will be for the next 6-8 weeks at least but 1,000,000,000,000 APOLOGIES FOR NOT BLOGGING IN FOREVER, I’M SO SORRY. 

I hope you’re all ok and doing  well. 

Stay safe,

Amelia x 

Being Sad

My last couple of blog posts have had negative connotations but I think we have to talk about this too. Because in all honesty, I feel sad about 90% of the time, obviously, this is linked to mental illness but it isn’t necessarily the cause of it all the time. 

We all get sad, whether it be if someone said something we don’t like or if we’ve been told some upsetting news but nevertheless, I’m sure you’ve felt sad at some point. Anyway, the reason as to why I’m talking about feeling sad is because I feel, although ‘sad’ is a very loose term, it’s the closest thing I can link to what I’m feeling, and I have no idea what I’m feeling, it’s completely indescribable and almost like I’m numb and the harder I try to think and figure it out, the stronger this unknown feeling creeps in. When asked about it by my counsellor, the closest emotion to it that we could determine was feeling sad, it’s a very extreme kind of sad, and we tried to figure out what the triggers were. There are no triggers that I can find. I can be at home in my room or in class or in the bathroom and this sadness just completely overtakes me. It can last for days and has had the potential to last for weeks at a time. I’m currently feeling this sadness after not feeling it for a few days which was a nice relief but I’m just so confused by it all. I felt like it was ridiculous I was telling my counsellor how incredibly upset and numb and non existent I was feeling but then she said something to me that changed things a little for me; “Sometimes, there is no reason as to why you’re going to feel sad and in your situation, it’s going to happen and you need to allow yourself to accept that this sadness is acceptable to experience, and you shouldn’t feel like you need any kind of justification.”

She’s right. She’s so right. And I’m sick and tired of trying to explain why I’m so sad and depressed most of the time, so if people ask, I’m not explaining, leave me to be sad, because I’m still wrapped in the blanket, and I can’t take it off right now. I think what some people need to realise, is that I’m still Amelia and I’m going to console you if you’re upset, I’ll give you help if you need it, I’ll try and stay interested in doing things, it’s just unfortunate I’ve been landed with these feelings. 

I also want you all to understand that you shouldn’t allow other people to undermine your issues, your issues are going to be big to you, and they could be talking a serious toll on you, and you should talk to someone about it. For example, my 6 year old brother came home from school and was terribly upset that someone had stolen his pencil, I know this seems like a scaled down version but what we’ve got to remember is that, at that age, that pencil being taken is the biggest thing going on in his head at the moment, and he wants to be listened to and wants to offload to someone about how annoyed he is, and I just had to be there to comfort him and let him know that it’s ok for him to feel annoyed, and that I’ll buy him another pencil. 

So, I hope this has kind of helped people understand a little bit more about, I don’t know, stuff maybe ? And I hope you’re all well and taking some time out of your busy lives to calm down. 

Stay safe. 

Amelia x 

Be Brave 

Be Brave 

Firstly, I am so incredibly sorry for being so distant, I’ve been terribly caught up with my A levels and I’ve been having a generally rubbish time. But, I’m now hoping to be getting back to blogging more because it’s what I enjoy, writing. Also, I hope you’re all ok and doing well, I’ve missed hearing about your forever entertaining lives. 
So, you’re probably wondering why my title is telling you all to be brave, this won’t directly apply to all of you as such but it’s something we should be aware of and be talking about a lot more these days, and I’m referring to mental illness. This is a huge thing for me to be doing as I suffer myself from anxiety and depression and even admitting that on writing, never mind in person, is terrifying. If any of you went to my friends and said; “Is Amelia despressed ?” They’d not even think about it twice and tell you you’re being ridiculous. Mental illness is a concept people know exists but many don’t like to address it, as there’s so many unnecessary stigmas surrounding it. I find it difficult to explain to friends sometimes and I often don’t as I like to keep it seperate from my friends and not let it overshadow our relationships with eachother. My good friend of 13 years knows the most as she’s very comfortable with this topic herself and we have a good relationship where we have that balance, where we know that we’re there for eachother. Today, for example, one of my other very good friends was speaking to me on FaceTime and I tried mentioning my anxiety and that I was diagnosed with it about a year ago (I didn’t bring up depression, as it’s another topic I feel needs seperate discussion) and he literally just came out with; ‘Ha, no you’re not’ and honestly, this hurt because it’s not the reaction I expected but I suppose I need to give this time as it’s difficult for people to come to terms with sometimes. 
So, in this blog, I’m going to explain how anxiety and depression feels for me, as well as explaining how it can be different for everyone. The first time I began feeling anxious was probably when I was 15 years old (I’m now 17) and I remember it vividly as I was sat in an RE lesson and over that time, a lot of things had been happening and generally, over my life, things had been somewhat turbulent. I was sat in this classroom and we were all getting on with silent work and the evening before, I couldn’t bring myself to eat anything as I felt, what I can only describe as, ‘wrong.’ My head was spinning and I couldn’t calm my breathing and I couldn’t bring myself to move off the bed, I felt awful. Eventually, I’d fallen asleep but woke up the next morning feeling similar. I decided to stick it out and went to school where, in the middle of this RE class, I literally just had to stand up and get out of there, I thought I was going to collapse and not because I was around people, it’s literally just the feeling within me and overthinking things. My teacher shouted after me but I had to be alone so I shut myself in a toilet cubicle and had to try so hard to bring my breathing rate down as I thought I may have been sick everywhere. It took a while and I couldn’t bring myself to return to class so I only returned when everyone had left, obviously, my teacher asked what was wrong and I said I felt unwell and that was that really. I let a few weeks pass and the anxiety was there a lot and I didn’t mention it, but I thought to myself one day that I can’t carry on like this, so I spoke to a teacher and they just tried to explain what anxiety was and calmed me down a little. The way anxiety affected me often confused me, as it would hit me at any point of the day and often wasn’t triggered by anything I could understand, it could hit me alone in my room or in a classroom or in the shower or in whilst out shopping. It’d make me feel sick, dizzy, my heart would beat quickly, my breathing wouldn’t be stable, I’d have a feeling of needing to cry but not being able to and as I found out more about anxiety, apparently, as adrenaline is pumped around our bodies during a panic attack, it’s provoked by a fight or flight method. I’m a ‘fighter’ these days and literally just have to sit and try and cope with the attacks but the flight method is where people can literally just take off and get themselves out the situation that could be making them feel anxious. Funnily enough, throughout my time at school, I had to do a lot of public speaking and this was the time I felt least anxious, I still don’t know why. So, for me anxiety follows me around everywhere, it’s not prominent all the time, but it’s just there. I decided to take matters into my own hands and visit my GP (Dr) and explain how I was feeling. She was very kind and decided to put me on propanolol (a beta blocker to calm me down) and refer me to a councellor. I’ve been seeing the councellor for 8 months now and I have 2 more sessions left but recently, have been referred to a councellor at college as I realised I need to talk frequently, as I don’t know how to deal with emotions or where to park them. 
Depression is fairly new to me and my Dr and psychiatric assessor both agreed I was depressed but are hesitant to medicate me, which I completely respect and understand as talking and healing is probably the best way forward for me. Depression only really started to creep in just as I began to start college, I wasn’t sure whether it was just because of the work or what, it was confusing to me as I really couldn’t bring myself to do anything and really started caving in on myself and not talking as much as things felt insignificant to others and I was feeling so terrible and honestly, just so depressed. I couldn’t bring myself to shower some days and on the weekend or holidays wouldn’t move from my bed, only if I had to. Depressions scary to me, because whilst you’re sat with friends and they’re laughing or you’re in what should be a happy environment, you have this heavy feeling, a constructive feeling looming over you and it hurts, it physically causes pain inside you and for me, is worse at home in my room alone but I can’t bring myself to go downstairs because I want to be alone but I don’t like being lonely, if that makes any sense ? It’s still so hard for me to deal with as it’s this massive cocktail of emotions in my head and depression isn’t just feeling ‘sad’ and people don’t always physically show their symptoms and I can’t explain how it feels properly or why I’m feeling it and that’s what hurts me the most, the fact I can’t explain. I remember having a few phone calls with my non biological aunt (shout out to you if you ever read this, you’re great) and she’d ask what was wrong and I literally just couldn’t say because I don’t know myself, I just had the worst feeling in the world going on. And I did try hard to explain but the only thing I ever wanted to do was to place her in my head so she could understand and that’s impossible, which again, hurt me. These feelings, both the anxiety and depression feelings still happen and I know it’s going to be a while before I can start putting them behind me. The things about this sadness and being wrapped up in yourself, is that it gets a bit too familiar, and in all honesty, the thought of stepping outside of what I’ve become familiar with is terrifying me at the moment but, my councellor said that its ok to feel that, that it’s ok not to want to take this step and you need to be ready to do so, and for now, I need to keep talking about these feelings. I feel like depression is a bit like a blanket, it’s there keeping you warm and you know you need to try and get this blanket off but you’re scared of how cold it’s going to be on the outside, so you just keep putting it off. I’m just struggling with it at the minute and I know I have these great people to talk to and I just hope that’s going to work for me. 
I started needing to see the GP again recently to help understand these feelings as I wasn’t dealing with them at all in the right way and still have a tendency to slip into bad habits but I know I’m supported by these people now, so I have the help I need and I hope it’s going to work, as these things don’t disappear overnight. 
I mention being brave in my title and that’s still relevant, we have the capabilities to be brave, but breaking down and not being brave is also perfectly acceptable, as this leads people to seek help. 
If you feel like you might be suffering from a mental illness, please speak to someone, a parent, family friend, teacher, doctor. Explain how you’re feeling (easier said than done, I know) and don’t feel awkward or embrassed or ashamed about having to see a professional about this, as mental health is so important and you’re not going to be criticised or judged. If you break an arm and go to the doctor, they’re not going to ignore it or say you’re not trying hard enough to get over it, they’re going to take care of it, and that’s how they are obliged to treat you, with full consideration and respect. 
I hope you’re all well, I’m going to put some helpline numbers here (UK and US, but there are other numbers for different countries online) just incase anyone needs them. 
UK:
Rethink Mental Ilness – 03005000927
PAPYRUS- 08000684141
Samaritans- 116123
Young Minds – 08088025544
No Panic- 08449674848
US: 
Adolescent Suicide Hotline- 800-621-4000
Adolescent Crisis Intervention and Counselling Nineline- 1-800-233-4050
Panic Disorder Information Hotline- 800-64-PANIC
National Alliance on Mental Illness- 1-800-950- NAMI (6264) 
Crisis Hotline- 800-HIT-HOME 
Stay safe, 
Amelia x

Online Shopping 

I’m very, very obsessed. I love online shopping, mainly because I don’t actually have to go out into town and get stuck behind slow walkers and because everything I need is on one screen. I love shopping on Asos and Topshop and recently placed an order and got a pair of charcoal coloured leggings, a damson coloured jumper, a white jumper with stripes going across the shoulders and neckline, a pair of dark browny-green scallop hem shorts, a green mini skirt, an oversized flannel shirt in dark, earthy colours and a pair of, what I can only describe as, ‘fancy trousers’ which are just touching the ankle and are a browny colour. 

  
^^my flannel shirt^^

I’ve been online shopping for the past 3 years or so and for me, I normally online shop when I feel a bit stressed and yes, it does make me feel less stressed and I’m delighted I’ve got new items of clothing in my wardrobe but unfortunately, it’s a dangerous trap to fall in to. There’s no turning back when Asos greets you with a discount code, it’d be rude not to use it. I dread to think about how much money I’ve spent online so far because it’s probably enough to buy a small house up North with. 

I also love that when I search ‘shirts’ on Asos I get 13,000 + results and it honestly gives me so much happiness and you’re probably thinking that my life is filled with nothing but clothes (not that there’s anything wrong with that), it’s not, I do actually get fresh air sometimes. However, you’d think that with a choice of 13,000 shirts I’d be content with a fair few of them but sometimes I can’t find a decent one then I get annoyed because THERES 13,000 SHIRTS AND I DONT LIKE ANY OF THEM, HOW WILL I EVER FIND A BOYFRIEND BECAUSE THERE WON’T BE 13,000 OF THEM WAITING FOR ME. 

I digress.

The most annoying thing about Internet shopping is that you can find the most perfect piece of clothing but, it’ll either be in the wrong colour or your size won’t be available and your world feels like it’s about to collapse and you’re back at square one, staring at the vast expanse of discounted cashmere items that are still really expensive. You can buy so many items on asos because there’s always some type of sale on and I can buy a solid 4, full outfits for all seasons. 

I love how they sell really pointless rubbish too, like panda socks and jewellery that goes on your head because even though I know I could be spending my money on other stuff I need, I just can’t help myself, I need to buy the pointless stuff because it’s cheap and there and I convince myself so much that one day, I’ll actually need them. What if I run out of socks ? (impossible, but still…) But wait ! Panda socks, I’m saved. Also, I might need to jazz up my head one day, so why not buy head jewellery ? 

Fairly short blog post but there’s only so far I can go with Internet shopping, despite my intense obsession for it. Hope you’re all feeling ok in the early stages on 2016 and not feeling too hungover. 

Stay safe. 

Amelia x